You work out of a Hotel?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
