Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
