he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
