you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
