Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
