I saw his package. It spoke to me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
