Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
FUCK WHALES
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
