we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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