I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
