Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
