he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
