you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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