Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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