girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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