So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
