some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
