I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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