yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
