she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
time to smoke my breakfast
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
