wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
