why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
