Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
should my penis look like a turkey
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
