is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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