I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
