I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
