I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
