I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
