Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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