Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
