This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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