Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
