it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
