I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
