do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
