Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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