Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
we should paint friendship bongs
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