We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
