I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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