Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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