We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
