you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
