then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
