I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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