Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
