I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
