He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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