we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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