We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
