Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
