I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
