No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
